Authors: Dr. Abbie Maroño
Published: January 19, 2026
Healing is rarely a straight line. Most people imagine recovery as a gradual, steady improvement, a slow climb away from pain toward clarity and peace. In reality, healing feels more like being pushed on emotional swings, rising and falling unpredictably, while being stuck on a roundabout of memories, thoughts, and feelings that refuse to let you step off. These shifts are not signs of failure, they are signs that the nervous system is processing what it could not handle at the time. Understanding why progress feels inconsistent helps remove the shame and frustration that often accompany recovery.
Healing Is Not Linear
The human brain does not heal by moving neatly from one stage to the next. Instead, it moves back and forth as it processes what happened. Some days someone may feel calmer, clearer, and more in control, and on other days old emotions or memories may rise up again without warning. This can feel confusing, but it is exactly how the brain works through difficult experiences. Healing happens in layers. Each time an emotion or memory returns, the brain is giving the person another chance to understand it with a little more distance and a little more strength than before.
Many people interpret emotional swings as evidence that they are failing, when in reality these swings are signs that the mind is actively trying to heal. The nervous system releases stress, grief, confusion, and anger in waves because doing so all at once would overwhelm the system. The roundabout feeling, that sense of circling back to the same thoughts or memories, is the mind’s attempt to put scattered pieces together. It revisits them repeatedly until they make sense, until they feel safe enough to be integrated, and until the emotional intensity begins to soften.
Why the Ups and Downs Happen
During trauma or prolonged stress, the brain shifts out of thinking mode and into survival mode. In that state, the body is focused on getting through the moment, not on making sense of it. This means many parts of the experience are stored as feelings, sensations, or flashes rather than as clear memories. The brain does this to protect the person, but it also means that the story of what happened can feel scattered or confusing later on.
When healing begins, the thinking part of the brain slowly comes back online. People start to make connections, find language for their experience, and understand what the event meant for them. This back and forth between survival mode and reflective mode can feel like an emotional pendulum. One moment someone feels steady, and the next they feel flooded or overwhelmed. It is not inconsistency, it is the mind relearning how to feel safe.
These emotional swings happen because the nervous system is trying to find stability after a period of danger or overwhelm. Moments of calm show that the system is capable of settling. Moments of distress show that there are still emotions that need care and attention. Both states are completely normal and both are part of the same healing process.
The Role of Hidden Triggers
Healing often feels unpredictable because triggers are not always dramatic or obvious. They can be small sounds, familiar phrases, certain environments, or even internal states like fatigue or hunger. These cues signal danger to the nervous system, even when there is no real threat in the present. When this happens, the body reacts with emotional intensity, confusion, or withdrawal. Many people interpret this as a step backwards, but in reality it is the brain trying to work through material that was too overwhelming to process at the time.
Recognizing triggers and understanding their role in the healing journey helps survivors feel more in control. Emotional reactions are not personal weaknesses. They are biological responses to past threat, responses that can be understood, managed, and soothed. When survivors learn to see their reactions through this lens, the experience becomes less frightening and more meaningful.
One of the most challenging parts of healing is the return of emotions that someone believed they had already overcome. Sadness, anger, fear, guilt, or longing can appear suddenly and with intensity. This does not mean that earlier progress was not real. It means the mind is ready to work through the next layer. Emotional healing resembles physical healing. A wound closes on the surface long before the deeper tissue is fully repaired. Those deeper layers require time, patience, and consistent care.
Learning to Pace Yourself
Because healing moves in cycles, pacing is essential. Many people push themselves to “get over it” quickly, especially when they feel pressured by others or by their own expectations. This often backfires. The nervous system cannot be forced into recovery any more than a broken bone can be healed through sheer willpower. Progress comes from respecting the body’s tempo, slowing down when needed, and recognising that rest is part of the work.
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools in this process. Treating yourself with understanding and patience reduces shame, lowers physiological stress, and strengthens emotional resilience. Once shame is removed from the healing journey, progress feels less like a battle and more like a gradual unfolding.
Each emotional roundabout brings new awareness. Each swing provides new perspective. Over time, these cycles create meaningful change.
Healing is not measured by the absence of pain, it is measured by the increasing ability to navigate it. The emotional swings and roundabouts of healing do not mean someone is broken, they mean their mind and body are doing the courageous work of turning survival into understanding. When people recognize that these ups and downs are part of the process, they become more able to trust their recovery and more compassionate toward themselves as they move through it.
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